....while we're young
10/27/17
(Baecation, the Prologue.)
“A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.” –Old Rose
I was 8 years old watching Titanic for the first of what has to be 600 times now when I first heard Old Rose say something I’ve come to learn is some definitely profoundly real ish. Fast forward to 27, and I realize I’m still waiting for The Man of Whom I’d Tell My Daughters About... you know, the “Your dad is amazing, the best! But he wasn’t the first one you know, *wink wink wink*” type of story, when you want to instill in your kids the importance of living your Best Young Life.
For sure, there’s many stories I’ll tell them about Life. But what about Love? I wonder which anecdotes – past, present or future – will be the ones I’ll be happy to remember. The ones that will actually illustrate lessons learned and growth achieved. Those Romeo +Julietesque stories that won’t necessarily be like the deep relationship they’ll hopefully see from me + their father, but simple and beautiful and profound in the way young girls (and boys) can understand. And aspire to. The nostalgic, pining way Old Rose talked about Jack was aspirational to me, as were all the romances in all of the historical fiction and memoirs and coming-of-age stories I’d poured over throughout the years. Doesn’t simple, beautiful, profound romance exist anymore?
It was just months prior to a trip, a “Baecation” that was preplanned, with someone I’d just recently realized I cared pretty deeply about. A confession: I love faarrrr more easily than even people who know me well would guess. Which is why I think it’s so important for me to keep this cool, chill armor on. But, on this day I spill:
“I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud, buuttt… I’m kinda hoping this trip goes something like John Legend’s PDA video.”
I tell this to Saph. She’s my squishy hearted romantic Pisces friend, and so I can bear to unlock my own super-turbo-ultra-maximumsecuritylocked squishy heart to her sometimes. She doesn’t recall the storyline, so I tell her about it: the unbothered lovers traipsing about town in their own little world, cutting the hell UHP wherever possible. And… recording it, wherever possible. I don’t say this loosely, but is SO #Goals.
“Dating” or whatever it is we’re doing these days completely exhausts me. I’ve actually been trying to stay away from it completely in recent years… but we know that’s not realistic or probably even a good idea, lol. But somehow, I’ve still ended up with this “friend”, and we are now set to go to this place, and maybe at least in my own mind, I can pretend like things are as simple as they seem in happy love stories while we’re there. In reality, we’ll be all into each other, comfortably, affectionately in our own world like we usually are. But in my head, we won’t be worried about where this is actually going (because our mama’s need grandkids like yesterday and The People are waiting on my lavish Nigerian wedding), or the serious considerations of having to establish requirements for ourselves and define our relationship to others. For a period of time we can just Be, and that’s been seeming like such an old-fashioned luxury. I’m thrilled, honestly.
I deeply believe there are all types of happy endings in love that don’t necessarily end in being together forever. But, I feel like even those are hard to get to in this left/right-swiping, superficial landscape. But, I love this genuine friendship that’s been blooming and the chance to just bask in it for while. I don’t know where this will go, but in this moment I’m down to ride. To spend another perfect day with him, kick it with my lil homie-luva-friend 24/7, and post cryptic speculation-causing clips on social media. LOL. Ah, Baecation is such a beautiful concept! We’ll create our own world in a beautiful place where no one knows us, and although this isn’t a solution for the realities of our relationship, it’s a dope little respite I’m hoping I can reflect on happily ever after.
I’ll hit you with the update soon! ;-P